Jamaica Me Dead by Bob Morris

Author:Bob Morris [Morris, Bob]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Mystery
ISBN: 9781429907262
Publisher: Macmillan
Published: 2005-01-01T06:00:00+00:00

44

“I checked with Mr. Skingle and I’m afraid he is tied up for the better part of the afternoon, Mr. Chasteen,” the secretary told me over the phone. “May I tell him what this is in reference to?”

She had a lovely voice. Jamaican, very sing-songy. I’ve been known to fall in love with women based simply on the sound of their voices over a telephone.

“Tell him it’s in a reference to a two-by-four.”

“A two-by-four?”

“Yes, the two-by-four that will be applied to the side of his head if he doesn’t make time for me.”

Was threatening bodily harm to the assistant consul for Homeland Security a federal offense? Screw it.

Besides, I thought I heard the secretary giggle before she put me on hold.

When she came back on, she said: “How does five-thirty sound?”

“Sounds like four and a half hours from now. Nothing sooner?”

“Afraid not.”

“Then tell Mr. Skingle that I would be delighted to join him at five-thirty.”

“Very good. I’ll put you down,” she said. “And, Mr. Chasteen?”

“Yes?”

“That two-by-four won’t be necessary.”

“Fine,” I said. “But can I still bring along the ball peen hammer for his kneecaps?”

This time she laughed. A lovely laugh. Oh, Zack, you charmer, you.

I had an afternoon to kill. Otee and the security guards had things under control at Darcy Whitehall’s house, which was still minus Darcy Whitehall. No need for me to get in the way.

What to do, what to do? Here I was, in the lap of sybaritic delight. So many seductive pleasures to choose from. A seaweed wrap at the Libido spa? Croquet-in-the-buff on the pool-side lawn? Bikram yoga in my birthday suit?

I pulled Monk’s “Ideal Executive Daybook” out of the backpack and flipped the pages until I came to what I was looking for.

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